Peter Hunt was able to call on Birmingham Hospice’s counselling service to help him come to terms with wife Helen’s terminal diagnosis and support him in his time of grief after her death.
The much-loved couple worked together at Kings Heath Cricket and Sports Club for over 30 years, but their lives changed forever in 2020, when Helen started to experience involuntary shaking.
Birmingham Hospice’s Wellbeing Team.
Peter said: “She was struggling and her writing, which she was very proud of, was becoming a problem. Looking back there’s every chance it started in COVID.”
After a stressful period managing the Club during COVID, they retired in 2021, and Helen’s condition continued to worsen. She was diagnosed with Multiple System Atrophy (MSA) in December 2022, an incurable rare nerve cell condition which inhibits muscle control.
Helen was referred to Birmingham Hospice and started to attend the Living Well Centre. The couple also went to separate counselling sessions to help them with the new challenges they faced.
Only 3,000 people in the UK suffer from MSA and Helen and Peter found the adjustment difficult, despite attending MSA support groups four times a year.
Following referral to the hospice, a member of he Community Team assessed her needs and provided advice and support. Over time, Helen struggled to walk and needed a wheelchair or walker to move around.
Peter received free personal grief counselling sessions when Helen died in November 2023 to help him get through the most challenging time in his life.
He also found solace and support in the Good Grief Group, a weekly meeting where those who had lost a loved one through terminal illness came together to share their experiences and talk.
“The group’s great strength was that everybody was able to share their experience and felt free to talk,” said Peter, who remains in regular contact and meets socially with group members.
“It was about sharing your feelings, and it didn’t matter if you had lost your mother, your wife or husband because we all shared a common link.
“It’s quite incredible when you talk to people who have been through it; the grieving process is something you need to understand.”
Peter felt the counselling sessions he received gave him more strength, adding: “Helen was gradually getting worse so I was accepting my role, and it was supportive to talk through how I should be feeling and shouldn’t be beating myself up.
“It focused the mind on how you felt inside and accepting the fact that life is going to be difficult.
“Helen never really spoke about it but knowing her as I did, it would have been a help.”
The one-on-one grief counselling after Helen’s death helped him to talk about his feelings and cope with her loss.
Peter said: “It helped me come to terms and understand what had happened. Grief is not something that will end but if you talk to people, particularly the specialist counsellors at the hospice, they will help you understand it. It’s always better to speak to people and not keep it inside.”
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