Sixty-seven-year-old Peter Vince had just completed a 70-mile bike ride when his face went numb. As a precaution, he went to accident and emergency, only to learn that he was terminally ill.
A keen cyclist and Aston Villa fan, Peter had felt elated when he finished his ride – and the sudden news that something was wrong, affected not just him but the whole family.
It was particularly difficult for his 11 grandchildren, several of whom received support to process their feelings from Birmingham Hospice’s Children’s Healing and Therapeutic Support (CHATS) Team.
His daughter Abigail, husband Ben and children Zachary, Noah, Theodora and Albert lived across the road and loved to spend time with Peter and wife Angela.
Zachary said: “We loved going to his house every week and grandpa was nice and very funny. He was always active and very happy.”
Peter was diagnosed with glioblastoma – a form of fast developing brain tumour and was placed on end of life care. His condition caused headaches, numbness, impacted his memory and affected his mobility.
Peter, who was a member of the congregation at St John Fisher RC Church in West Heath, was determined to spend his remaining time at home near his family. After he was referred to Birmingham Hospice, our Therapies Team made him as comfortable as possible, providing a wheelchair as well as toilet and showering equipment.
Abigail Noakes, Peter’s daughter, said: “When dad was diagnosed it was a real shock.
“We always thought he would live to 100, and he used to tell everyone he would. The day he went into accident and emergency he had just finished a 70-mile bike ride.
“The Occupational Therapists from the hospice came in and saw dad so quickly it meant he could be at home, which is what he wanted. Everyone from the hospice really met him on his journey.”
Being cared for at home meant his loved ones were there for him and could say goodbye at the end. Peter died on September 10th last year surrounded by his wife Angela, and children, Abigail, Daniel, Rachel and Sarah only a few months after his diagnosis.
Abigail and husband Ben noticed how the loss had impacted their children. Teenagers Zachary and Noah received counselling support from their school, but Theodora, 11, and Albert, 8, started to behave out of character.
Theodora, who felt ‘quite angry’, was the first to be referred to CHATS, where she would attend regular sessions with Senior Practitioner Mo Sasaru. Meanwhile, Albert had become closed off but also tried to make his family smile and started sessions later.
During one-on-one sessions with Mo, they engaged in games, arts and crafts and activities which helped them to come to terms with their grief and were given space to talk about anything they want.
Theodora said: “It was good and we spoke about different emotions and made loads of things.
“I made a little pot which had memories of grandpa and then we smashed it and then over different sessions Mo glued it back together. We then painted fine gold lines on it to show that even though something is broken, it can still be beautiful.”
Albert added: “The first time I met Mo she showed me happy and sad faces, and she said I was the happy face because I make people happy, but then she drew over the sad face to show that it’s like a shield and she said sometimes I can feel a bit sad.”
Abigail and Ben can see the difference the sessions at our Selly Park hospice site have made.
Abigail said: “The benefit of counselling is huge. We can see they don’t want to upset us, so it’s nice knowing that they’ve got space to talk about it and process it because it all happened so fast.
“They talk about my dad a lot, but they also find ways to soothe themselves as well.
“Theodora has a picture of my dad and Albert’s got his Villa hat in his room, so we can see that they’re able to comfort themselves.”
The family have been involved in fundraising for the hospice over the years. Noah was inspired to take part in our Choc 5K fundraising event in March alongside Ben, where he finished second overall.
The family will also be attending our glamorous Winter Ball on November 20.
Abigail added: “We’ve always known about and supported Birmingham Hospice, but then suddenly, you find yourself in a position where it’s your family who needs the help. It’s nice to know we’ve supported them like they supported us.”
