In December 2024, Neil Stokes, aged just 53, and his wife Jo received the devastating news that he had oesophageal cancer. In addition, they were informed that it had spread too far for surgery but hopefully, with support from the oncology team, father of three Neil may have two years to live. This came as a huge shock to the family.
Neil and Jo were then supported by the palliative care team at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham; however, shortly after his diagnosis, Neil’s health deteriorated and it was agreed that he should be admitted as an inpatient so his pain could be managed, and they could get him strong enough to handle chemotherapy.
Unfortunately, Neil’s health continued to worsen, and he became too poorly for chemotherapy to be considered. After nine days in hospital, his oncologist referred Neil to Birmingham Hospice.
‘The hospice made us feel safe’
“He was so poorly when he arrived at Birmingham Hospice,” said Jo. “He was struggling with pain, he couldn’t really stand at all, and he was confused.”
The hospice team focused on getting Neil settled, addressed his pain, and made him more comfortable immediately.
“The professionalism and compassion were simply amazing. They couldn’t do enough for us as a family and there was a connection straight away.”
One of Jo’s main concerns was making sure Neil felt safe and the hospice team helped him achieve that. He was able to move into the big family room and beds were found for Jo and their children, Charlie, Laura and Tom, so all five of them could stay together. They decorated the room with familiar Christmas decorations from home and put up photographs around Neil. Family and friends were able to come and see Neil and he had multiple visitors over those few days.
“The hospice team were so attentive, intuitive, professional and highly supportive. In a truly terrible situation, the staff at the hospice gave us all the support we needed to look after Neil.”
“On Christmas Day, we exchanged gifts. Laura and I received Coldplay tickets for August 2025 at Wembley from Neil – how amazing is that! We tried to keep everything as ‘normal’ as possible. We had a glass of wine, we had a few treats to eat, we sat around Neil’s bed and watched the finale of Gavin and Stacy together, along with the rest of the nation. Whenever Neil and I needed help, we got it from the hospice team; nothing was too much for them. They were so attentive and kind.”
Neil, died peacefully in the early hours of Boxing Day morning with wife Jo and their children by his side, just 21 days after his cancer diagnosis.
“Although watching Neil’s health decline and having to say goodbye was devastating for us all, the care of the hospice team was incredible. The support and strength they gave us, their openness and honestly, and the dignity they afforded Neil was so special.”
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