A member of our Nursing Team, who has worked at the hospice for over 20 years, has shared her own personal experience of the care the hospice provides having seen her mother, father and mother-in-law all cared for by our community team in recent years.
Sarah Bache started as a Community Nurse in 2003, before more recently becoming a Nurse Consultant, working with patients in the community, Inpatient Units and Living Well Centres, as well as being part of the management team, working on areas such as quality and strategy.
Her mother-in-law Carole Bache died in December 2019, dad Albert Cort in August 2020 and mom Eileen Cort in July 2022. All received support from our hospice teams, primarily our Hospice at Home and Community Nurses, allowing them to be cared for at home in their final weeks.
Having not had any major health problems until being diagnosed with lung cancer, Carole was nervous of healthcare professionals. She attended our Living Well Centre for around three months, where she received help in living with her symptoms, as well as social interaction. For the last few weeks of her life, she also had our Hospice at Home team coming to her house to offer care and support.
Sarah said: “Carole didn’t like to talk about these things and used to ask other healthcare professionals to speak to me, but coming here was really good for her – she got on with all the staff and enjoyed the social side of it. She lived on her own, so it was good for her to get out.
“Hospice at Home were going in for several weeks leading up to her dying but she’d sometimes say she didn’t need anything and it was just a case of making her a cup or tea or having a bit of a chat. She died at home, with my husband and I by her side. It was probably for the best because she hadn’t spent any time in hospital or anything like that in her life, and being at home was right for her.”
When Sarah’s dad became ill with stomach cancer for a second time during the COVID-19 lockdown, our Hospice at Home and Community teams again allowed him to be looked after at home during difficult circumstances. The same team looked after her mom two years later in the last years of her life, after also being diagnosed with lung cancer.
Sarah added: “Mom and Dad had been together since they were 13 and 14, and got married at 18 and 19, so it was a long time. Dad was a quiet chap, he worked hard and was very much a family man. Mom worked as a secretary for many years, since she was 14, and used to help me with looking after her grandchildren – again just a very kind, family-oriented person. They enjoyed going out and socialising and had several holidays after they retired – despite their health problems they went to Europe many times, and to Australia.
“Dad was 77 when he died, and he’d had stomach cancer before when he was 47; he’d had treatment and surgery and got over it, so we saw those 30 years as a privilege. He was really lucky that he saw myself and my sister get married, and met his four grandchildren.
“He went into hospital during the pandemic which was difficult as we couldn’t visit him and just had a few phone calls. I knew from the minute he came home that things were going to change quickly. The following week he was referred to Hospice at Home, and the Occupational Therapist from here got him a bed for downstairs. Dad was one of those people who’d always say he didn’t need help with personal things, and they were very good at encouraging him, and also talking about things like Advance Care Planning; my Mom was very open about stuff like that but Dad didn’t like to talk about it, and the hospice staff made it so easy with how they explained it.
“My mom actually had her cancer diagnosis before Dad became ill, but she was plodding along and doing OK, then there was a very sudden change in her. My sister came down and we all spent her last three weeks together, with the Community Nurses and Hospice at Home team coming in – they were amazing again and really helpful. She had some difficult symptoms to control, so one of the doctors from the hospice came out as well, and that just helped me appreciate how the hospice brings all those different elements together.”
Sarah feels a long and personal connection to the hospice, having been inspired to work in palliative care after her dad was diagnosed with cancer the first time, and subsequently seeing several family members being cared for here.
“My dad’s first diagnosis was when I was 15 and thinking about going into nursing, and we also had a family friend who died of cancer so all those things stayed with me. When I started my training on the wards with patients and they were dying, I found it rewarding to be able to help them with their comfort and dignity, then I spent a day out with a community Macmillan nurse, and I really enjoyed it.
“When my dad was 21, his mom died in this hospice, and one of his brothers did too, so it feels like I’ve got a long history here, which is one of the reasons I’ve done loads of fundraising over the years and just been passionate about staying here.
“Some people when they’ve had a loss find it impossible to go back to this kind of job but I’ve found it comforting and it helps you to know what it’s all about and use that experience to help others.
“One thing that you want to do when you’re a family member but also a professional, is be able to just be the daughter. It’s a massive gap in my life now that they’ve all gone but I do feel privileged that they had that care, and I didn’t ever have to worry about what was going to happen to them.”
