My husband David was a romantic, a true gentleman and very hard working, as well as a cricket lover with an amazing sense of humour. There aren’t many people who can make me genuinely laugh – but he could make me buckle over.
When we met, we both knew it was just right. We were inseparable. There was nothing more important to us than cementing our relationship, getting married and beginning the family we always wanted.
We had Daniel in 2021, and David was jumping with joy to have a little boy – he simply couldn’t put him down. When we found out I was pregnant again, this time with a little girl, it felt like we had everything we ever wanted. Our life seemed so complete. David would say that ‘we’ve won the game of life’. It felt like we had.
But then, in 2023, everything changed. Aged just 37, David was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. It was such a shock as he’d never smoked and kept himself active with sport throughout his life.
The next few months we went back and forth to hospital appointments and I was there by his side for every single one. During this time, we also attended my prenatal appointments and David was there at the birth of our daughter, Lyanna. David had surgery to remove two thirds of his left lung and we hoped that would be it. But in the spring after completing three months of chemotherapy, they told us the treatment hadn’t worked. We still had to believe it would be ok; David was so young, with so much to live for.
He then started a drug trial and immunotherapy, both of which were making David unwell, so the doctors told us that it might be better to stop and go home to enjoy our Christmas together.
We found out about Birmingham Hospice where David could receive the end of life care he needed. Initially, David was reluctant to consider the hospice because he didn’t know what to expect. But he was experiencing so much pain in hospital and this was frightening for us both.
When a bed at the hospice became available, everything changed for us. They expertly managed his pain, which was a huge relief, and soon, we were all able to move into the Family Centre together in the hospice Inpatient Unit, which felt like a home away from home.
David knew he was approaching the end of his life and that every moment was important. Time, as a family, is what the hospice gave us. They put a bed next to David’s so I could lay next to him and hold his hand, with Lyanna’s cot next to me. He’d spend a few hours awake at a time and in those moments having our children with us made the time so special.
I’m so grateful for the days we had together those last few weeks and for everything the hospice did for us. The hospice gave David time to be ‘Dad’, to maintain his dignity and independence to the end. I’ll never forget that it was made possible for David to go home, just for a few hours. It seems like a small thing, but that normality was so important to him. In the Family Centre he was able to have family visits, and he had friends over on a couple of evenings to watch the football. The most important part was having the reassurance of medical care around the clock.
When David died, I was so grateful to be there, holding his hand. Although my heart was broken, it was a peaceful experience thanks to Birmingham Hospice.
Some days it’s hard to breathe. I’ve lost my best friend. But I want people to know about David, how special he was. And I want people to know how important Birmingham Hospice is to families like mine. The charity relies on donations to provide its expert care. Your support is needed now more than ever to ensure that hospice care if there for others now, and in the future.
