WHEN Murray Sim was diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer, his wife Anna and daughters Kirsten and Lauren were able to call on the support of our Hospice at Home and Inpatient Unit (IPU) teams to provide the dignity, choice, care and comfort he deserved.
The cancer was discovered by doctors in March 2023 after he suffered from stomach pain, but Murray had already been going in and out of hospital since October of the previous the year and had his right adrenal gland removed following a biopsy.
The diagnosis was a shock to the family as he had already been successfully treated for kidney cancer in 2016.
The whole family rallied and Lauren, who was studying a Master’s degree in Sheffield, started spending one week a month at home in April and all of her time in Birmingham from September.
Lauren said: “It was a really hard and difficult time for Dad coming in and out of the hospital and it became really stressful for us.”
In September 2023, Murray was told that there was nothing more that could be done, and his chemotherapy was stopped. He returned home and the family received care from a Hospice at Home nurse.
Anna recalled: “We just wanted him home then. We had a bed downstairs for him, and he was then home for 10 days.
“A Hospice at Home nurse visited Murray and touched base with us every morning. For the first four or five days, he was good, and he could still do normal things like getting himself lunch and sitting in the garden.”
Lauren added: “When Birmingham Hospice visited us at the house, they were very nice and comforting, offering us counselling and the opportunity to talk to someone if we needed.”
Murray decided to be admitted into Birmingham Hospice’s IPU in Erdington after experiencing breathing problems.
“This support from the hospice was so important,” Anna said.
“He started to struggle to walk from one room to the other, because he was too breathless. There was a big change from the Monday to the Wednesday.
“Murray started to notice the changes to his body, and decided he didn’t want this to happen at home, and he didn’t want to die at home. Although he was struggling a lot, he still thought of us first.”
It was important that Murray was able to make the decision. “It was his decision, and his voice was heard,” said Kirsten, who is a paramedic.
Murray was made comfortable and enjoyed the company of those caring for him. He watched Six Nations rugby matches with a nurse and liked being able to see the peaceful garden.
Staff also washed and shaved Murray and made sure he wore clean and comfortable clothes.
On October 9, Anna saw a notable change in her husband and the whole family were able to be with him when he died peacefully at 10.20pm.
Anna added: “He knew we were with him. We are so grateful to the hospice for this.”
In Murray’s honour, the family organised a golf day at Pype Hayes Golf Club on his birthday and held a Euros sweepstake, raising £6,750 for Birmingham Hospice.
“The support from Birmingham Hospice allowed us to be a family and not carers,” Anna said.
“Our thanks are too little for everything the hospice did for Murray. We are so grateful, and no words will ever express that.”
The Sim’s family fundraising could pay for someone to have round-the-clock expert palliative and end of life care in our Inpatient Unit.
